DEAR DEIDRE: A stranger emailed me to expose my husband’s wedgie fetish.
I thought it was a joke but I learned that this person is his “mistress” and he is her “sub”.
I can’t get it all into my head. Apparently he met her for a few sessions while he was working away.
I am 41 and my husband is 43. We have been married 12 years and have a six year old daughter.
My husband’s finance job takes him all over Europe and the UK so we often spend time apart.
This mistress explained that my husband asked her to indulge his wedgie fetish and paid her to hang him up by his pants and engage in various wedgie acts. I was horrified.
I couldn’t believe I was reading this about him.
He has never given me any indication that this activity is something he enjoys, let alone engage in it on a regular basis.
I don’t even know if he’s having sex with this woman.
Apparently the reason she emailed him was because he wanted her to do it as punishment.
She also attached a photo of him in the wedgie predicament.
My husband is gone until early next week but I know I have to confront him.
I feel like I need someone independent when talking to them.
Could you please recommend advisors who could help me before he returns?
Do you think an advisor could accompany me?
I am shocked by this revelation. My thoughts are everywhere.
DEIDRE SAYS: This news came out of the blue and it’s totally understandable why you’re feeling confused.
A lot of people with secret fetishes are ashamed of it, so he hid it from you.
A wedgie fetish is about pain and humiliation for some and is often used to create roleplay where there is a bully/bully dynamic.
It may have its roots in his childhood and he cannot understand it himself.
Dealing with a partner’s sexual fetish can be difficult.