We’re three minutes into the latest episode of island of love and newcomer Remi is already rapping. Granted, the Mancunian bombshell was asked to do so by his fellow islanders, but just a few seconds into that spontaneous musical moment, everyone, including Remi, realizes that this was a mistake. An awkward messy bug. Still, hungry for more blood, the girls – and us viewers at home – are ready to pretend those 10 seconds didn’t happen. And so we will never speak of a draw again.
Elsewhere on the fire pit tonight, Jacques turning Jay to the bombshell delivers humiliating results for all involved. “So what are you doing, big boy?” asks Jacques, who has done little at the villa to be known for anything other than being Gemma’s ex. Jay replies that he works in the always vague field of “finance” before snapping back that Jacques looks a bit short to be a rugby player. From there, it’s an inevitable hop, hop, and jump to Jacques, who threatens to “flatten” his new rival in the garden.
Narrowly avoiding the said “flattening”, the islanders get through the next day unscathed – which is good, because it’s time for dates. With all the excitement of someone who has never texted before, Remi and Jay announce at the mansion that they can choose three girls to date (the first will make the starter, the second the main course … you understand). It’s an apt concept given how much this season has focused on discussing people’s “Top 3”. Jay chooses Amber, Ekin-Su and Tasha. While Remi highlights Indiyah, Paige and Ekin-Su.
The appointments are going exactly as you would expect. The boys lay it on big (remember when “Factor 50” was still a thing?) and question their lunch companions about how very devoted they are to their current partners. The girls keep repeating the phrase “it’s early days”. Trust Ekin-Su to dish up some drama, though. As Davide watches in horror from the balcony – wearing a pair of “high vision” sunglasses, I might add – Ekin-Su reenacts The lady and the tramp Spaghetti scene with Jay before she feeds Remi chocolate covered strawberries.
If this episode proved anything, it’s that Ekin-Su is a gift from the reality TV gods. The Essex actress has caused trouble from the start and has more than earned her place at this mansion – and our hearts (at least for these few summer months). The preview for Thursday night’s episode confirms her iconic status as we are treated to a clip of the 27-year-old literally crawling on her hands and knees to the porch to snog with Jay away from the prying eyes of her Italian stud. If this girl doesn’t make it to Casa Amor, we’ll riot.