Wednesday, November 30, 2022

My partner arranged a visit with the caregivers days after the birth of our disabled daughter

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DEAR DEIDRE: A few weeks after the birth of our disabled daughter, I found messages on my partner’s phone arranging a meeting with companions.

As I was working out the dates I found that it was when I was in hospital with our baby and he was in Manchester celebrating a friend’s 30th birthday.

My partner arranged a visit with the caregivers days after the birth of our disabled daughter

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Is there a chance for us if he so selfishly left me just when I needed him the most?

At the time I was already upset that he was away with a weekend when our daughter was so vulnerable.

They were staying at a hotel and the news was working on how to get to the escorts.

I know I shouldn’t have checked his phone, but we hardly ever have sex anymore and he often disappears from work, so I was suspicious.

My partner runs his own carpentry business and it doesn’t make sense that the jobs he’s bidding for happen at random times in the evenings.

When I saw the news from his evening, I confronted him, but he fell silent, eventually mumbling that they were only joking.

But it doesn’t match. Now I suspect he’s cheating with escorts again since he hardly ever sleeps with me.

I’m 27 and he’s 29. We’ve been together for almost three years.

We were really in love, at least I thought so. I got pregnant and then at the 20 week scan we found out about our baby’s complications.

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I love my partner very much but I can’t trust him now. I question everything he does.

I have so much resentment inside me. I feel totally alone and don’t know what to do. I am stuck.


DEIDRE SAYS:Having children can put a strain on most relationships, and having a disabled child often adds to that strain.

Some people focus on finding ways to make themselves feel better about a situation by distancing themselves, and like many men he divides himself so he sees paying for sex as separate from his love for you.

But of course he knew what he was doing would hurt you and the fact that he cheated on you and could still cheat is eating away at your relationship.

Talk about how you can heal this and rediscover your love and trust.

He must be 100 percent sorry.

MORE FROM LOVE DEIDRE

ON A BREAK

My girlfriend asked for a break because I refused to open a joint bank account

You can find support through Contact (contact.org.uk, 0808 808 3555) who help families with a child with a disability.

My support package scam – can you get over it? will help you too.

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