The 29-year-old mother explained that she shared a nine-year-old daughter, Claire, with her ex-husband Brian. He has Claire from Wednesday to Saturday and the mother has her from Sunday to Tuesday.
A woman has come under fire after she considered not allowing her daughter to visit her ex’s dying dog – because it conflicted with the custody plan.
When Brian called to ask if he could pick Claire up a day early so she could say goodbye to his dog, she initially said no.
After posting on the subreddit Am I The A**hole, the woman changed her mind and allowed her daughter to visit the dog.
She explained that her ex got a dog just before her daughter was born. Since the dog was around six or seven years old, she estimates the dog must be “ancient” by now.
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She said: “Claire loves this dog and I’ve tried to give in to that as much as possible and on the days I have her Brian has Claire video call him and the dog which I think is a bit extreme is, but to each his own .”
On Monday Brian contacted her and asked if he could pick Claire up a day early so she could say goodbye to the dog who was scheduled to be euthanized on Tuesday.
But she told him she “doesn’t think it’s a good idea to go against the court-ordered pre-trial detention,” and since “if I had a work emergency, he wouldn’t be watching her, I don’t see why that would be any different.”
Brian said she was “too dramatic, petty and cruel” not to let Claire see the dog, but the Redditor said she doesn’t think she’s wrong for “setting the standard that we hold by the courts.” ordered custody”.
He sent her multiple texts saying to leave Claire there and apparently telling Claire what was going on, which the Redditor took to be an “overrun.”
She closed the post by saying Claire was now mad at her too and asked if she was wrong for not letting him pick her up a day earlier than usual.
The top comment with over 56,000 upvotes reads: “Major YTA [you’re the a**hole]. What if a loved one dies? ‘Oh, sorry, I can’t go to the funeral. It’s not on the schedule’. These are the things that separate children from their parents. Don’t be the AH [a**hole] Parent.”
Another comment said Brian’s claim that she was “overdramatic, petty and cruel” was “spot on”. The same commenter asked why she asked him to take her with him during a work emergency if she was so opposed to deviating from the court-ordered parenting plan.
The child’s emotional well-being should come first, said another.
They wrote: “You should bring her to say goodbye to the dog if you don’t want to smudge the custody warrant. Importantly, your nine-year-old is given the opportunity to say goodbye to a beloved pet and to process her grief.” They added that the custody order shouldn’t stop her from prioritizing the best interests of the child, accusing the mother of having been more focused on not giving her ex time than on the emotional impact this will have on the child.
In an update, the original poster thanked people for their contribution and decided to change her mind.
She wrote: “I thought about it some more and read some of the replies and I realized I was short-sighted and taking out my frustration from the past in a way that would only have a negative impact on my daughter. I spoke to Brian and we arranged for him to pick her up tomorrow to say goodbye and drop her off a day early.”
Losing a pet is never easy, but at least now the child has a chance to say goodbye.